Elliot the Exterminator
by Ranowa Hikura
Summary: Casey has a problem with bugs in her office and home, so she calls upon Elliot to get rid of them. Romance ensues. I DON'T OWN THEM.


Inspired by that evil little bastard that I'm sure is still alive and well behind my computer. A spider I didn't notice until it wrapped around my finger. I screamed and hit it with a 1000 page book three times, but when I looked away, it disappeared. I know it's still back there, just waiting to come out and kill me when I'm least expecting it...

And now, ALSO inspired by the spider I saw several hours AFTER that, hovering in mid-air, climbing from a light bulb to the wall. It's dead now. I attacked with a stick and squashed it with the same book, then made sure it had stopped moving before I put the book back. GRRRRRRRR.

I also propose this challenge: to ANYONE who can explain how Bottle Adventure/Reverse Bottle Adventure works (well, mostly how to figure out which item I want to be replaced/gotten) I will write a oneshot for the pairing and fandom of your choice, as long as the show is one of the ones I watch. Take out the spaces in the following link, and over to the left under 'Bottle Adventure', the main links you need to look at are Item Chart, Bottle Adventure, and Reverse Bottle Adventure.

http:/ /zeldaspeedruns . com/oot/ba/reverse-bottle-adventure

Elliot smiled as he straightened his tie and headed down to Casey's office. Tonight, he was picking her up from work before going out on a double date with Fin and Melinda- well, that was what he was _supposed_ to be doing. But since Fin had the flu, he was hoping to be alone with Casey for the entire night.

Any ideas of that were shot to hell when he heard a piercing scream from Casey's office and a loud _smack_. Elliot frowned, putting his hand on his gun as he cautiously approached her office. When Casey continued to shout and the smacks continued, he hurried forward and burst inside, freezing at the sight before him.

Casey was slamming a heavy law book onto her desk over and over, shouting in between the smacks, _"That's. What. You. Get. You. Little. Bastard!"_

"Casey?" he asked in confusion, walking forward slowly.

The ADA looked up at him in relief before shouting, "Elliot, give me your gun! I am going to shoot this damn thing!"

Elliot blinked before walking slowly forward, not wanting to get smacked by Casey's law book. "Case, what are you doing?" he asked, grabbing the book to stop her from slamming it down so he could see what had her so mad. Elliot blinked in surprise when he found a crushed and thoroughly dead spider lying on Casey's desk. "Um, Case? That's a spider."

"Yeah, I know!" she exclaimed, glaring at it furiously. "Come on, El, shoot it, make sure it's dead!"

Elliot stared at her before glancing back at the spider, then chuckling as he said, "Casey, I'm pretty sure it's dead. You hit it enough times." Casey shook her head, still glaring at the spider, and he laughed before saying, "Wow, Case, I never knew you were so scared of spiders."

"I am _not_ scared of spiders!" Casey exclaimed furiously. "I just don't like them! They're disgusting and whenever I see one I start itching all over, but that does _not_ mean I'm scared of them!"

Elliot raised an eyebrow, then decided to have a little fun with Casey and said, "Really? Because I see another spider right over the-"

He was interrupted by a short scream as Casey immediately jumped at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist, forcing him back a couple of steps. "Casey!" he gasped in surprise, chuckling under his breath. "Case, I was kidding!"

Casey immediately let go of him and smacked him on the chest, glaring at him. "Elliot, that wasn't funny!" she exclaimed coldly.

"Oh, yes it was."

The ADA groaned loudly, then snapped, "Elliot, you're a jackass." She put the law book back on her desk, then gave the dead spider another smack for good measure. "And I'm not going on our date tonight because-"

"All right, fine, I apologize," he said, smiling slightly before kissing her. "Now will you come?"

Casey smirked, then said, "While the kiss was enjoyable, you didn't let me finish. I was _going_ to say I'm not going on our date tonight because, um... you may have to drive me to the hospital."

Elliot groaned loudly and leaned back against the wall, shaking his head. "Oh, god, what have you done this time?"

"Nothing!" she insisted quickly, shaking her head. "Nothing, I just... well, I first noticed the spider when it was wrapped around my finger, and I may have smashed it with the law textbook while inadvertently also breaking my finger."

Elliot stared at the blushing lawyer for a moment before bursting out laughing. Casey crossed her arms and looked away with a huff, slumping back against the wall. "Okay, are you done?" she snapped, tapping her foot impatiently.

Elliot took a moment to get his breath back then nodded, still grinning. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm done. Come on, let me see your hand, it can't be that bad, can it?"

Casey grimaced, then held out her hand for his inspection. He frowned, looking over her purple, swollen finger, then kissed it. "Hey!" Casey exclaimed, yanking it out of his grip and smacking his chest again. "That hurts!"

"Sorry," Elliot said before taking her good hand, hoping to hang onto it to avoid being hit. "Come on," he sighed, rolling his eyes good naturedly and leading her to the door. "I'll drive you to the hospital."

SVUSVUSVU

Six long hours later, Elliot and Casey were walking out of a New York ER, exhausted and bored out of their minds. All the doctors really had been required to do was do an X-Ray, then tape her fingers together and brace the broken one- a five minute job. In fact, probably something Casey could of done at home. But, once again, the ER was full of alot more pressing cases then a broken hand, and they were taken care of first.

"Sorry for ruining our date... and your whole night," Casey apologized as Elliot drove her home a bit past midnight.

"That's okay," he said, glancing over at her and grinning. "At least I got some good blackmail material out of it."

Casey looked up at him in shock, then exclaimed, "Elliot, if you dare ever tell anyone about this, I swear to god, I will suffocate you in the middle the night and bury your body in my backyard."

"You live in an apartment building. You don't _have _a backyard- looks like I'm in the clear." Elliot winked at Casey when she groaned loudly and slumped back against her seat, glaring at him..

"You know, most people would take a death threat more seriously than that."

"Yes, but I'm not 'most people."

"You got that right," Casey muttered under her breath, then rolled her eyes and started fiddling with the radio station.

Elliot chuckled as he maneuvered through traffic, shaking his head at his girlfriend. "Don't worry. I won't tell anyone that the big, bad, scary Casey Novak is absolutely terrified of spiders."

"Elliot!" Casey snapped, reaching over to slap him again. He narrowly avoided her hand, chuckling under his breath as Casey exclaimed, "You will not! Don't you dare ever tell anyone that- and I already told you, I am _not_ afraid of spiders!"

Elliot laughed again, then said, "Casey, you screamed and jumped into my arms the moment I even _mentioned_ one. What do you call that?"

Casey hesitated, biting her lip as she tried to come up with an appropriate word, then gave up, but still said adamantly, "Whatever, but I'm _still_ not scared of them!" When Elliot just chuckled and kept on driving Casey decided to change the subject in hopes that he would forget all about tonight. "So, what are we going to do now? It's too late for us to go out on a date."

Elliot glanced over at her with a small smile, then said suggestively, "Well, I would propose something related to sex, but the doctor said you can't use your hand until your finger heals, and, well, I think I deserve two-handed love."

Casey smiled slightly, then winked at him and said, "I'm sure we can figure something out. And I still have some use of my hand." She held her hand up and wiggled her pinky and thumb at him, causing him to laugh again.

-Several hours later-

"Well..." Casey panted, looking over at Elliot with another grin. "That was... fun."

He nodded, draping an arm over her shoulders as she rolled over in bed to face him. "Yeah, and informative. Now we know we can still have sex if you ever do this again in the future."

Casey chuckled, then turned to look at him and said, "Just don't ever tell anyone that I'm afraid of spiders."

Elliot laughed again, then said, "Aw, Case, you have to confront your fears instead of running from them. I'm sure Huang would help give you spider therapy to-"

"Shut up, Elliot!" she cried, rolling her eyes before kissing him again. "Shut up or you'll never get anything from me again."

"Shutting up now," he said quickly, then smirked and said, So, you want me to come with you to your office tomorrow to kill anymore spiders? Because you'll probably break your hand again if you see another one."

"Elliot, I warned you!" Casey exclaimed, glaring at him. "If you make one more joke about me being afraid of spiders, I'll ask Olivia what you're afraid of and fill your apartment with it."

"Oh, well, in that case, I am absolutely terrified of gorgeous women who enjoy kissing me. So does this mean I'll come home to-"

"No, Elliot, don't even think about it," Casey scoffed. After a moment of reflection, she asked, "Wait, does that mean I terrify you?"

Elliot immediately shook his head, then sighed and said, "According to Olivia, I was scared of you when I forgot our six month anniversary. She was certain that I was going to have nightmares of you coming to kill me in my sleep."

"Really?" Casey asked, surprised. "Olivia said that? Hmm. I'll have to thank her."

Elliot was about to reply when his cell phone started ringing. He sighed, then apologized as got to his feet to answer it. Casey closed her eyes sleepily and rolled over. She was almost unconscious by the time Elliot came back and said, "Sorry, that was a wrong number. And, Casey? I think you may want to take a look at this."

Casey groaned, then opened her eyes to see Elliot holding a dead spider right in front of her face. She screamed again, rolling away from him and sitting bolt upright, glaring at him furiously. "Elliot! What the hell?"

"I found it crawling around out there on your floor and killed it for you. I think something about you attracts these little bastards."

"Ew! Don't say that, then it'll come true! God, just throw it away!" After Elliot had thrown the dead spider away and come back to bed, Casey snuggled up against him and said, "Oh, my nice, cute exterminator. Whatever would I do without you?"

"Um... sit in your apartment and stare at the walls all day?"

Casey chuckled as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "It was rhetorical. Maybe I should start paying you to get rid of my insect problems."

"Oh, really? Well, I can think of another method of payment that I would prefer much more than money," he said, allowing her to curl up against his side.

"And what method is that?" Casey asked with a chuckle, glancing up at him.

Elliot laughed before kissing her again. "Oh, I think you know."

Please review, and if you can help me with that challenge at the start, tell me in a review/PM


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